Why Being Seen Feels So Intense (and What Helps)

I drove into Cupertino Main Street with a mic, a sign, and one simple mission: Take Heart on the Rise outside.

Not because I love filming in public.

I don’t - I genuinely hate it. 

But this rung isn’t about becoming fearless - it’s about practicing the kind of courage that expands your life. Every uncomfortable (and very-visible) step at a time.

Why being seen hits so hard

A lot of us think courage is reserved for big, dramatic moments.

Yet for many of us, the real challenge is felt in the everyday:

• Not knowing who will say yes - or if anyone will

• Feeling the pressure of first impressions

• Wondering if you’ll freeze, fumble, or look “cringe”

That’s the part that spikes the anxiety: uncertainty.

It’s not just “talking to people.” It’s the not-knowing, in public, while your body is very aware that you’re being watched.

What helped

I don’t like holding people up. I don’t like feeling as if I’m trapping people into doing things they don’t want to do.

But I reminded myself: when people say no, they're exercising their agency. And honestly, that's the whole point of my work. If someone can say no to me, great! That's actually the point, so I'll take it.

Being told “no” isn’t always a bad thing; it can also be:

• empowering

• honest

• freeing

• a reset for your nervous system

That’s a courage practice too: staying present when you’re being rejected.

What happened when I actually asked

Luckily, more people were willing than not.

And not in a performative, “content” way.

In a human way.

As the conversations unfolded, I heard versions of the same theme:

• Someone pushing themselves to meet new people instead of staying home

• Someone admitting it’s outside their comfort zone to even leave their room

• A single mom learning how to do more on her own - and rediscover what she enjoys

• Someone learning Spanish because it matters in the world they live in

No perfect answers. No polished soundbites.

Just humans trying.

And that’s the point: courage doesn’t only expand your life because you “did the thing.” It expands your life because you come back into contact with real people, real stories, real possibilities.

Try this: a low-stakes “visibility” practice

If you want to practice courage too, here are a few small ways to try a version of this rung (no mic required):

• Ask a stranger a simple question (directions, a recommendation, “how’s your day going?”)

• Let a pause happen in conversation without rushing to fill it

• Go somewhere public alone for 10 minutes and notice what comes up

• Share one honest sentence with someone you trust instead of the “I’m fine” version

Pick one. Keep it small. If you try one this week, come back and tell me which one you chose. 

Come climb with me

If you’re practicing courage too, tell me what you’re working on in the comments.

And if you want to keep climbing this Courage Ladder with me, subscribe now!